A recent trip to the grocery store made me think of a simple question, “How do you not know?”

October 7, 2010

There are three things that constantly seem to pop up that just amaze me. And it amazes me even more when these things happen in a business setting.

Plumber’s Butt
OK no matter what you call it, builder’s bum, sideways smile, butt cleavage, coin slot, and on and on, how don’t you know? As I mentioned above I headed into the grocery store to pick up a couple of items. As I headed back to the dairy aisle the stock boy bending over to pick up a carton of yogurt and his San Andreas Fault line rudely greeted me. From a practical standpoint, how annoying is it to keep pulling your pants up or feeling a breeze on your bum? Get a new pair of pants, a belt, or a longer shirt. Just cover the crack and do us all a favor.

No not Bell Biv Devoe, which is a good thing. Poison, Let Me Know Something, BBD (I thought it was me), ahh… throws me back to ninth grade at Keith Junior High School in Altoona. No I am talking about Booger in View (B.I.V.), bat in the cave, whistler’s brother, and the dreaded nose goblin. How don’t you know that every time you breathe it sounds like a teakettle ready to burst or that your green guest keeps playing peek-a-boo as you talk? I know this one can be unexpected if something shakes loose, but look at people’s eyes when you are talking. If they can’t take their gaze off of your nostrils or they keep rubbing their nose, you may have a problem.

Bad breath
So for lunch you grab an onion bagel sandwich with garlic spread, a side of FUNYUNS, and then wash it down with a coffee. Hint, your breath may stink. How don’t you know that your breath smells so bad that every time you talk your teeth duck? Or others may actually look forward to you passing gas as a more tolerable option. When I was at the grocery store I saw they have things called mints and gum. These do a great job of at least covering up the toxic gas that is being omitted from your pie hole.

Is anyone else out there witnessing other interesting behavior? Are these happening to you at work?


  1. I associate with men in my line of work (construction – had to clarify because that came out sooo worng – anywho) than any other and its the nose hairs that get me. Its like spider legs reaching out to grab me. Dont they feel that tickly on their face (yes they are THAT long) and its like a big bush in their nostrils – dont light a match you may cause a brush fire. . TRIM IT shave it wax it do something 🙂

    • Ha! I forgot about that one. Yes nose hairs can be every bit as distracting and gross. Have a great weekend!

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